i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
