So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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