I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
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I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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