No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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