it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
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How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
vagina is talking i cant
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
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Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
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