I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I just got carded by a ten year old.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
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