i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
