Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
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