Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
