so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
