don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Randomize
