the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
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I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
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