At least make sure they are 18
Why
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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