I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
