oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
