How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Randomize
