Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
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