Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
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Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
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You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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