whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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