absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
