I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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