I cockslap morals
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
