How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
