I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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