totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
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