Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
