It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
