Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
