Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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