If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
