this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
soo... how was my night?
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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