and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
