based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
