so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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