I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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