If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BRING THE BAGELS
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize