I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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