oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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