2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
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