Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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