What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize