i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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