used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
