So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
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Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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