my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
