Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
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