She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
