I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
