it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Randomize
