just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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