i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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