We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
