$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
