i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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