Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
