Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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