He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
