so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
